Passionately Managing Life

I have been sick for the past 6 weeks. Covid symptoms without covid. I have taken no less than 6 Covid test rapid and PCR at Urgent care, the emergency room and at work all have been negative. I hate this. I have experienced every symptom known to man. Long lasting deep coughs, difficulty breathing, sneezing, nausea, headaches, vomiting, inability to sleep, extreme fatigue, fever, chills, whole body aches, chest heaviness, overall exhaustion. All intermittently over the course of a month and a half. I've been to my primary, urgent care and the Emergency Room all for them to diagnose me with the randomest upper repository issues. I've been diagnosed with bronchitis, an ear infection, the flu and seasonal allergies gone arry. The Emergency department basically said that I have a non descript upper respiratory infection and that I need to rest. They gave me an inhaler because I may be developing asthma. At 38, because life. I was told that my cough can last up to 6 weeks and ther...

In 2016 I applied to the University of Pennsylvania for a Masters level dual degree program. I was scared to apply as I carried feelings of self doubt coupled with the fact that it is an Ivy League school. I was in my mid 30s, with a husband, 2 children and a strenous full time job, not to mention an undergraduate GPA under 3.0. Needless to say I was waitlisted, then denied admission and I was beyond upset. I sulked and then moved forward in my regular life, but the denial sparked something within me. I wanted to prove to myself that I could be accepted. I waited a year before reapplying and during that time I bolstered my profile. I added new initiatives to my resume and conquered new projects. I sought out new references and focused my new application on my growth,vulnerability and how I'd be an asset to the program. You know what happened? I got accepted. Making those changes showed me that I can do anything. That failure pushed me to go deeper to prove to myself that I am capab...

As a 12th grade teacher and counselor I like to give a positive perspective of our city's young people. During this season of gratitude I'd be remiss if I didn't take pride in the brilliance of our children, especially the older ones. With so much death and despair gaining news coverage we tend to forget the kids that are on the right track doing, the work to make themselves better. Each year our high school seniors spend the fall applying to colleges far and wide hoping for a chance to start a new journey in just a years time. With dreams of a career in engineering, medicine or even animal husbandry (yes this is a thing) they cast fear aside and shoot for their ultimate goals in spite of current circumstances. We often don't recognize the teens working long shifts at local stores after a full day of school just to have a sense of responsibility. The teens that sit up all night fretting over projects and assignments due the next day aren't always on our radar, but ...

My kids aren't afraid of covid. They're afraid of getting shot. There have been 432 murders in Philadelphia as of October 12 2021 with over 1700 people shot this year. Gun violence is rampant in the communities in which the kids I teach live as well as in my own. I am fearful of getting another message that someone I know has been shot and killed daily. I check my phone each morning hoping that my students and family members have made it through another night in Philly. Prayers of protection are abundant. The pandemic and the subsequent shutdown has created an alternate universe where money is both scarce and more easily available, guns are easier to get, drug overdoses are higher than ever, social media beefs result in deaths, jobs are both in abundance yet not for everyone, social interactions are more high stakes and a structured day is less important. There's a sense of heightened agitation prevalent in our communities layered with a feeling of despair. "I want t...

I bring things to fruition. This summer I got the opportunity to bring one of my passions to life. I am an ideator. I create events, gatherings projects that inspire. A workshop camp for middle and high schoolers. A camp full of choice. Full of different activities to keep kids interested and off the streets during the dangerous hot summer months of Philly. A camp to spark joy.  I taught a balloon class. The purpose of the class was less about perfectly aesthetically pleasing designs and more about giving the kids something new to do. A new skill to learn. Something that wouldn't otherwise be fun but took up the time in summer. They got to build a relationship with an adult and learn how to manage themselves in tense situations (handling balloons with them popping is a skill in patience!) Kids like to participate. Kids like being given praise. Kids like to feel helpful, seen and valued. They want to be paid attention to. The camp offered so many different ways in which our students...

They want to organize college around the life they created during the pandemic. Is this wrong? So in counseling and raising young people that have been impacted by this pandemic like the rest of us I have seen a pattern emerge. More young people aged 16 - 21 are working and not attending college or trade school in a traditional sense. The world of online classes and virtual fluidity have given them the ability to move at a pace they choose. More of them are starting businesses, more are traveling, more are living independent of their parents/families. Not to mention the moves made with the increased flow of money from the Biden administration. College has become an afterthought to making money or living life on their own terms. The independence of being able to hold full time employment or run a full fledge business during the day time hours while attending classes online has empowered this generation. They aren't the same kids who graduated from high school and went directly into ...

In the midst of the pandemic I felt, like most people overcome and undone. My usually busy life was no longer an escape. Everything was still. My day job and home life collided into an unsure virtual bumble...  and I just felt uneasy all the time. Lost really. But this business we had Marty's Parties helped me so much. We started to offer balloon packages to celebrate people. Birthday packages (because there were no parties allowed), graduation packages, (because their were no graduations), celebration balloons for Mothers Day and Father's Day (because interaction were limited). We provided safe outdoor dropoff all over the city of Philadelphia and the surrounding counties and the joy on people's faces was palpable. We literally brought joy to people's houses when so much was in despair. Making people smile gave me hope and perspective. It make me happy to help. My balloon business saved me. I felt like I was drowning and the joy of our customers and their lived ones li...

20. Jaleya is 20. She is one of my heartbeats personified. Never did I imagine being a "step" mother, so I'm not and never use that title. I'm mom or mom number 2 in this 3 parent team and we are so incredibly proud of our baby! She's 20 yall! She is my world. She means so so much to me. She is smart, thoughtful, hardworking and compassionate. Full time college student (hello Lincoln 🧡💙), full time working in her chosen field (🐕🐩🐾🐶), driving around this city all the time (🤦🏾‍♀️ my nerves), world traveler (🌍🇵🇷🇲🇽🗽🇺🇲💫) and a great great role model for her younger siblings especially Melody. She carries them on her back by the choices she's making right now. But she's a good daughter. I do not have to worry about her and that as a parent is the biggest gift of all. I trust her and I move heaven and Earth to make sure she feels every bit of the love she deserves. I'm celebrating my baby today because this world is unforgiving. So at home ...

The pandemic that mostly affects my life is gun violence. The amount of people that have been shot or killed or affected by gun violence is more than I know that have been affected by the Corona virus. Every time I turn on the news another person is reported shot and dead. I’m always checking the location to see if I know anyone living close by. I’m fearful all the time of getting a phone call or a text message that someone I know has been shot and killed. It hurts to feel like I’m in constant fear. Every day I’m scared to death and kids are normalizing death. It is unfair. The value of life is diminishing. People now know what to do whenever someone dies.  Candle light vigils. Balloon releases.  Funeral procession. Repass.  Food for the family. Tshirts. Teddy bears. Cardboard cutouts. Memorial service.  Burial. Hashtags and  social media RIP tributes.  Updated profile pics and bios.  It feels like our lives have so little value. What makes it even wor...

Life can beat you down. I am a helper. A lover. A fixer, but I can't fix everything and the knowledge of this hit me hard this year. I've been mourning the loss of relationships over and over again. And it hurts. Unexpected endings hurt. Even when the decision was mutual. It hurts. Even losing toxic energy can be painful. Or growing distant gradually. When the loss was for my own good. It hurt badly. When a life suddenly ended it devastated. Missing a person's energy and laughter. Their demeanor and spirit hurts. And I've been powering through hurt this year. A few endings s ent me into a sadness that I didn't even realize was there. The impact people have on you can go unnoticed until you no longer have access to them. To miss someone is one of the most powerful feelings. Even in their physical absence you long for their presence. No matter how much sense it makes for the separation. No matter the rhyme or reason. No matter how much better off my present...

I find that I spend lots of time creating products and then when it is time to share it with the world I freeze. I get scared. This happens over and over again. I wrote 2 books, published 1, I published a journal on Amazon and created a tshirt brand in the past year. I just get scared when it's time for self promotion. If it was my kids or students I would gladly promote. The family business gets lots of promotion, but when it's me and mine alone I just don't. Maybe it's imposter syndrome. Who would want to read anything that I write? Who wants to hear what I have to say? Or maybe it's fear of rejection. Fear of negative reactions. Fear of people getting sick of me. I do alot and I always wonder if people hate me for it or look down on me. Am I oversaturated? Always doing something that makes people roll their eyes. This is my truth. My way of thinking. Self promotion has always been difficult for me. Even if you see me out in front promoting know that it's hard...

With the rise in virtual instruction due to the Covid 19 pandemic, schools all across the country have pivoted to incorporate online instruction either fully or hybrid. Online learning has its positives and negatives, but for the most part students are learning and teachers are teaching. In the Northeast however there is a time honored tradition with the anticipation of the "snow day". A day off from school due to hazardous conditions caused by too much snowfall. Students and teachers alike buzz about days before an impending storm trying to guess whether or not school will be cancelled. It's a right of passage, a tradition. Teachers become faux meteorologist making ridiculous predictions. Students wear their pajamas backwards and cross their fingers hoping to wake up to good news. Snow days are taken very seriously. The days off for snow are refueling for teachers and fun for students. I remember waiting to hear my school ID number on KYW at 5am to see if my elementary s...