Passionately Managing Life

I've grown alot. I'm not bragging just stating a fact that is relevant to me. Here are 3 ways that I know I have grown as a person: 1. Most opinions don't effect me . I used to really care how I was perceived publicly. The way I dressed, the way I wore my hair. My weight. The activities I engaged in.  My resume. I cared what people thought about my choices. How I spent my money. I cared about being too ghetto or too black. I cared about being too much in the wrong place. Even as I put on a IDGAF persona outwardly I still cared a great deal. And it influenced how I operated. I now engage in educational discourse without shirking back and can take constructive (and not so constructive) criticism without feeling hurt for hours and changing things to appeal to the critiquer. That's totally different for me. 2. I don't overwhelm as easily. Stress kicked my butt for a long time. Yes I still experience stress, but not to the degree I once did. Stress was debilitating. ...

I'm full of contradictions, but so is everyone else. No one is linear. One way all the time. A straight line. I am working my way through all of my intricacies and learning to accept myself the way I am. I find that I fall in love with things easily. I enjoy the feeling of liking something so much that it affects me deep down in my core. It's less stress for me that way. With all my many titles I enjoy being so very different and representing so many different things. Politically I have very liberal beliefs and some conservative views as well. As a wife I am soft and submissive yet firm and boisterous in some areas. Financially I spend frivolously yet am overly consumed with saving money. Some students fear me, others adore me, many both. I'm funny (like hilarious to myself) but hella serious most times. I'm loud as hell and shy. I'm family oriented but crave alone time. I yearn for stability yet spontaneity sets fire to my soul. I'm an adrenaline junkie but sca...

I simply wanted a day to myself and that was too much to ask for. I ran into a recurring problem a few weeks back. I wanted time away but felt guilty for wanting it. Not time to go on an adventure, or time to party. Not time to get all dolled up or even get a massage. I wanted time to be completely alone, with my thoughts doing whatever I wanted (or didn't want) to do. Let me say this before y'all trip and cause a riot I AM IN LOVE WITH MY FAMILY. All caps to emphasize the feelings lol. My hubby and my kids are my world. We spend so much time together. Driving to school, weekend activities, cook together, clean together, jokes together. We're legitimately together most of the time. And I'm usually ok. There are times however when mommy/wife needs to be alone. Not in a bad way, but in a healthy way. I spend so much time trying to keep the family systems together that when it's time for "me" I'm depleted. Most of the time when I am by myself I spend it ...