Panic. Anxiety. All I felt. For a 4 hour period I experienced one of the most mentally debilitating experiences of my life. Never would I have ever thought that I would have a panic attack. But I did. And it wasn't the textbook panic attack that people read about. I was actually out in the world interacting with people. Even driving. I started to feel an overwhelming sense of anxiety as I was leaving my house to pick my kids up from school. The sense grew bigger and bigger wrecking me with both thoughts of overwhelm and physiological signs of distress. Hotness in the face, difficulty breathing, inability to concentrate. I sent my husband a text saying that I was in the midst of some kind of anxiety attack while driving on the highway. During this episode I was still able to function in the world which above all else made me the saddest. I drove, greeted people, saw my parents. I acted and functioned "normally" but the entire time I felt overcome. I couldn't place the root of the emotion until much later when I finally bursted into tears once I got back home. The saddest thing for me was being able to "function" without anyone knowing what was really going on. I was scared to death in the midst of it all. I employed all of my calming techniques and tricks, but did not let anyone on the outside to know that I was struggling inside. How many people go through life like this? I was eventually ok. I talked it out. wrote it out, slept it out. Then began my search for a new therapist (therapyforblackgirls.com the podcast is amazing btw). The fact that I could hide the level of pain and discomfort that I was experiencing so well was a wake up call for me. I know so many of us struggle with the superwoman syndrome, but that day I felt 100% helpless. The best thing I could do then and can now do for myself is to practice effective personalized self care. I totally made that term up but it applies. I need to adhere to my own self care regime and that's whatever works for me. You should try it too. Love your self enough to be and seek the help you need. Also have compassion. You never know what someone is going through on the inside. Besos.
As a 12th grade teacher and counselor I like to give a positive perspective of our city's young people. During this season of gratitude I'd be remiss if I didn't take pride in the brilliance of our children, especially the older ones. With so much death and despair gaining news coverage we tend to forget the kids that are on the right track doing, the work to make themselves better. Each year our high school seniors spend the fall applying to colleges far and wide hoping for a chance to start a new journey in just a years time. With dreams of a career in engineering, medicine or even animal husbandry (yes this is a thing) they cast fear aside and shoot for their ultimate goals in spite of current circumstances. We often don't recognize the teens working long shifts at local stores after a full day of school just to have a sense of responsibility. The teens that sit up all night fretting over projects and assignments due the next day aren't always on our radar, but ...
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