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Unsettled

I feel crazy today. Like none of my efforts are worth anything. Let me explain a little. Sometimes it seems like no matter what I do, how I feel or where I go I don't have an impact. I already know how this sounds. Whoa is me right? But over the past few weeks I have felt very ineffective. When I try to speak up about an issue it is quickly pushed aside, or someone tells me that I am wrong for feeling that way. It is frustrating. For a former spontaneity lover gone superwoman planner I am left feeling perplexed. I plan so much now and tend to know how things will play out and they go my way much of the time. Blame motherhood, marriage, teaching and managing 85+ student lives and decisions daily. But of late the fireside of me has been coming to the surface. Wanting more. More commitment from others. More fervor for work. More passion. More care. Hence the feeling of craze. The saga continued I guess...

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