This school year has been hard. Jahiara lost her mom. We lost Suhail. Many of you lost loved ones. Science was a wash. We lost the end of the school year. We lost prom. We lost graduation. We lost celebrations. A virus took so much away. Racial trauma is continuing to plague us. Over and over again. I'm angry, sad, anxious, fearful, tired. So tired. Tired of everything.
I do the work I do because our kids need someone to speak for them. My kids need an advocate, someone in their corner. I worked hard to secure my position, mastered my craft, built a reputation, gathered connections all so I could be a resource for my people. My youth. My kids. College advising is a way for me to help my kids realize they are bigger than their surroundings. A way to help them realize their dreams. A way to help them realize that they can do anything they want in this life. A way to visualize their futures. Sometimes it involves convincing them to do things they don't want to do. It's about being a presence in their lives. Someone that's in their corner even if they don't know it. I advocate. All the time. Sitting on the phone with colleges, recruiters and scholarship committees, writing letters to appeal boards, driving busloads of black kids across the state to see college campuses, but aside from college I do this everyday for my kids. I show up. I stand tall for my kids by just being myself. I'm a Black educator on purpose. My being present represents more than just a job. My kids come to me to cry, parents ask me to console, I talk to my students like they are my own children, I hold them accountable, I fight for them behind the scenes all the time because if I don't who will? That's how I approach it. They deserve to be kids. They deserve support. They deserve their playing field to be leveled. I call myself a college advisor mom for a reason. I feel like I'm saving lives everyday by just being there.
I am hurting to my core. Black people keep being killed as if our lives don't matter. George Floyd.
Breyonna Taylor.
Ahmaud Arbery.
Travon Martin.
Tamir Rice.
Sandra Bland.
Armando Castille.
Eric Garner.
Sean Bell.
Oscar Grant.
Mike Brown.
Walter Scott.
I'm scared all the time that someone I love will be on this list. I'm scared for my husband. Scared for my daughters. Scared for my entire family. Scared for my students. There isn't a time that I am not scared. It's not fair. I don't want to personally know the next name on the list. It's not fair that we must live our lives like this. In constant fear. In a war state.
I've gotten a gun pulled on me twice in my lifetime. Once I was walking down the street and I fit the description of someone who robbed a 7/11. The police pulled guns and ordered me to put my hands up. The second time I was in bed asleep. The police ran into the house looking for a suspect. I was in the bed. They kicked in the bedroom door and drew guns. If I would have moved or been defiant or perceived disrespectful I could have been killed. I could have been Breyonna Taylor. That realization frightens me.
We fight for good schools, we fight for opportunities, we fight for jobs, we fight for resources, we fight for our health, we fight for respect and we fight everyday for our lives and it's not fair.
I draw strength from doing the work. It feels like a calling to pour my energy into something positive especially if nothing else is in my control. I can inspire change. I can be the change. My children and my kids are the future and I sacrifice and pour into them so that they can stand a fighting chance. I'm angry. I'm hurt but we as a people will rise above. This movement, this energy there is a shift happening. My kids are living during a time in history that will be written about. This is a revolution on so many levels.
I am a Black woman. Wife. Mother. Sister. Friend. Daughter. Teacher. Counselor. Mentor. So many titles but none of them mean anything. Above all I am a person a human being who's life matters. I matter to those who know and love me just as they matter to me. I am a Black educator on purpose. My story, my experiences and the way I approach the world gives my kids permission to be. Through all this tragedy we as a people will make it through.
Keep fighting. Keep pushing. Don't give up no matter how hard it gets. There are more people who love you that are rooting for you in the background.
The time for change is now.
I do the work I do because our kids need someone to speak for them. My kids need an advocate, someone in their corner. I worked hard to secure my position, mastered my craft, built a reputation, gathered connections all so I could be a resource for my people. My youth. My kids. College advising is a way for me to help my kids realize they are bigger than their surroundings. A way to help them realize their dreams. A way to help them realize that they can do anything they want in this life. A way to visualize their futures. Sometimes it involves convincing them to do things they don't want to do. It's about being a presence in their lives. Someone that's in their corner even if they don't know it. I advocate. All the time. Sitting on the phone with colleges, recruiters and scholarship committees, writing letters to appeal boards, driving busloads of black kids across the state to see college campuses, but aside from college I do this everyday for my kids. I show up. I stand tall for my kids by just being myself. I'm a Black educator on purpose. My being present represents more than just a job. My kids come to me to cry, parents ask me to console, I talk to my students like they are my own children, I hold them accountable, I fight for them behind the scenes all the time because if I don't who will? That's how I approach it. They deserve to be kids. They deserve support. They deserve their playing field to be leveled. I call myself a college advisor mom for a reason. I feel like I'm saving lives everyday by just being there.
I am hurting to my core. Black people keep being killed as if our lives don't matter. George Floyd.
Breyonna Taylor.
Ahmaud Arbery.
Travon Martin.
Tamir Rice.
Sandra Bland.
Armando Castille.
Eric Garner.
Sean Bell.
Oscar Grant.
Mike Brown.
Walter Scott.
I'm scared all the time that someone I love will be on this list. I'm scared for my husband. Scared for my daughters. Scared for my entire family. Scared for my students. There isn't a time that I am not scared. It's not fair. I don't want to personally know the next name on the list. It's not fair that we must live our lives like this. In constant fear. In a war state.
I've gotten a gun pulled on me twice in my lifetime. Once I was walking down the street and I fit the description of someone who robbed a 7/11. The police pulled guns and ordered me to put my hands up. The second time I was in bed asleep. The police ran into the house looking for a suspect. I was in the bed. They kicked in the bedroom door and drew guns. If I would have moved or been defiant or perceived disrespectful I could have been killed. I could have been Breyonna Taylor. That realization frightens me.
We fight for good schools, we fight for opportunities, we fight for jobs, we fight for resources, we fight for our health, we fight for respect and we fight everyday for our lives and it's not fair.
I draw strength from doing the work. It feels like a calling to pour my energy into something positive especially if nothing else is in my control. I can inspire change. I can be the change. My children and my kids are the future and I sacrifice and pour into them so that they can stand a fighting chance. I'm angry. I'm hurt but we as a people will rise above. This movement, this energy there is a shift happening. My kids are living during a time in history that will be written about. This is a revolution on so many levels.
I am a Black woman. Wife. Mother. Sister. Friend. Daughter. Teacher. Counselor. Mentor. So many titles but none of them mean anything. Above all I am a person a human being who's life matters. I matter to those who know and love me just as they matter to me. I am a Black educator on purpose. My story, my experiences and the way I approach the world gives my kids permission to be. Through all this tragedy we as a people will make it through.
Keep fighting. Keep pushing. Don't give up no matter how hard it gets. There are more people who love you that are rooting for you in the background.
The time for change is now.
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