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Dear Summer

This summer was...

Last school year was particularly difficult on many levels so I decided that I would take the time needed to replenish myself personally, mentally, physically, spiritually. At the same time I wanted to take time to get my family/house in order. Not in the proverbial sense, but actually quite literally. I tasked myself with doing as much work on my home at home this summer while I had the time.

I planned my entire summer out. Vacations, celebrations, rest periods, kids needs and wants. Planned time with my hubby and everything.

I relaxed. Took a week long vacation in the very beginning of the summer. I needed that. The beach is my place to cleanse and restart anew. My mind needed the time to be still. My lungs needed the sea air. My feet needed the sand. My soul needed the ocean breeze. I allowed myself to be still. To be at peace.

Apart of my peace is my family's mental well being. When things are in particular order they thrive. When they thrive I am well. I planned everything down to a science this summer. Two oldest had fulltime jobs, youngest was enrolled in two camps during the day, I drove them all over making sure they were straight. We had 3 big construction projects on the house that I managed while hubby worked to provide. Mental management of my family gives me a level of satisfaction that I never knew existed.

But I'm a summer baby. July 14th is my birthday and I vowed not only to do for others, but also to pour into myself. We partied hard this summer. Partying for me is spending time with the right people in fellowship. No negative energy. Just good vibes, smiles, and laughter. My hubby and girls threw me the perfect birthday party. It was simple and I loved it and the process so much. The caretaker was taken care of. It fed my soul. I also went to New Orleans with my sister friends and that renewed my spirit on a different level. That city ignites me. I am in love with the feeling of that place. All of it. I came back wanting to experience more.

My kids are always at the forefront. We gave my 9 year old 9 parties for her birthday because she's that special. We had graduation, trunk parties, family celebrations all summer long. We spent family time. We laughed, cried but were together. Everyday. We spent so much time together in our space and that made this summer so special. It fed my energy.

I thought I could plan my way to peace. That did not work. I did however pour so much into myself positively that it offset the worst of the worst.

In all that went right this summer I never would have imagined that I could have almost lost my husband. Life can really change in an instant and it did for us. His lung collapsed. No cause. No injury. No pre existing condition. He is healthy. He is not one to seek medical attention. He's not one to seek attention period so going from being our strongest man to emergency surgeries, chest tubes and a 2 week hospital stay was.... different. Doctors said we could have lost him. In a short span of time our world changed. We when from a perfectly planned summer to halting everything to tend to him. I basically moved into the hospital. My girls struggled to cope with all that was happening but found ways to contribute through sadness. Our friends and family stepped in and helped tremendously. We tried to be as normal as possible but that was all but impossible. The final surgery proved successful, he got released and is now recovering.

Our oldest went to college. Our middle child works tirelessly. Our youngest danced her heart out at her annual recital. And daddy came home. We finished our summer together.

The lessons I learned this summer were like nothing else in the world. I am so thankful for the time that I had to be at home and also be with my family. I am so thankful for the time I spent pouring into myself. There is no substitute for time for yourself. There is also no substitute for order. I am leaving this summer behind knowing that I am so much stronger than I was before it started. I ran through a gambit of emotions all summer long but the biggest lessons I left with were this:

Pour into yourself and you can conquer anything.

Cherish the day to day joys and struggles. They turn into life time memories.

So long Summer 2019! Not exactly a Hot Girl Summer, but it was perfect for me! 😘😊

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